Last night was my mom’s birthday. My brother toasted, but instead of praising Mom, he decided to “joke” about me, saying, “Happy birthday, Mom. You raised three great kids, and then there’s you, still trying to figure everything out.” I told him to stop but froze as Dad said, “Well, he’s not entirely wrong, is he?”
It felt like someone poured cold water down my back. I laughed awkwardly, trying to brush it off. The room went quiet for a second, then filled with chuckles, but it wasn’t the good kind—the kind that makes you feel like you’re in on the joke. It was the kind that makes you feel like the joke.
I stood there holding my glass, my hand trembling just slightly, and smiled like it didn’t hurt. But it did. More than I expected. I’d been holding it together for months, pretending things were okay, that not having it all figured out was just a phase. But hearing it from my dad? That stung.
Later that night, I helped Mom clean up. She didn’t say anything about what happened. Just wiped the counter and asked if I could put the leftover cake in the fridge. I nodded, my throat tight. I didn’t want to cry in front of her. She deserved a peaceful birthday.
On the drive home, I replayed it all in my head. The laughter. The way my brother smirked like he was doing the world a favor by pointing out my failures. I wasn’t jealous of him. He had a job he liked, a wife, two kids, a mortgage—all the things society uses as measuring sticks. I had… well, none of that.
I had a studio apartment with a sink that dripped and a dream I kept changing every few months. One week I was going to open a food truck. The next I wanted to teach yoga. And before that, I thought I’d be a writer. Each time, I got close—real close—but backed out before anything took root.
Maybe they were right. Maybe I was the “still figuring it out” sibling. The one parents whisper about when they think no one’s listening.
I parked outside my building and just sat there. I didn’t want to go inside. Not yet. I scrolled through my phone and landed on a photo from the party. It was a group shot. Everyone smiling. Me included. You’d never guess that, inside, I felt like I was shrinking.
The next morning, I got a text from my cousin Liv:
“Hey. Saw what happened last night. That was harsh. You okay?”
I stared at the screen. I wasn’t okay. But what do you even say to that?
“Yeah. Used to it,” I typed. Then deleted it. Then wrote:
“Still figuring it out, remember? 😂”
She replied:
“That doesn’t mean they get to humiliate you. Want to grab coffee?”
I agreed. We met at a café that smelled like burnt toast and lavender. Liv always knew when I needed someone. We’d been close since we were kids, and even though she had her own busy life, she never let me drift too far.
She slid into the seat across from me, holding a cappuccino the size of her head. “So. What’s next on your master plan?” she asked, teasing lightly.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll become a beekeeper. Heard bees are in trouble,” I said, half-joking, half-serious.
She sipped her coffee. “You know what your problem is?”
“Only one?”
She smiled. “You think changing your path means you’ve failed. But you’re exploring. That’s not the same as being lost.”
I looked down at my drink. The foam heart was already sinking.
Liv continued. “You’ve tried so many things most people are too scared to even attempt. Yeah, you haven’t stuck with one thing, but you’ve got grit. You just haven’t found your thing yet. Doesn’t mean you won’t.”
“Tell that to my dad.”
“I would if he’d listen,” she said. “But listen to me—don’t let people who settled too early make you feel like you’re behind.”
That stuck with me. All day. Even after I got home, her words buzzed in my head.
I started thinking. What had I loved most from all the things I tried? Cooking. I always came back to that. Even as a kid, I used to sneak into the kitchen when Mom was out and try to recreate stuff I saw on TV. Sometimes it turned out great. Other times, not so much. But I never stopped trying.
That night, I pulled out a dusty old notebook where I’d written a few food truck ideas. Names, menu sketches, costs—half-baked plans, but passionate ones. One idea stood out: “Second Helping.” It was meant to be a comfort food truck for people who needed a second chance—at a meal, at a conversation, at life.
I stared at those two words: Second Helping.
What if this wasn’t the end of my “figuring it out” phase? What if it was the start of finally putting things together?
I spent the next few weeks working part-time shifts at a local bakery. The pay was terrible, but I got to be around food, and more importantly, around people who loved food. I stayed late to clean, asked a million questions, and practiced recipes at home using the few tools I had.
Meanwhile, I took a free online business course and started budgeting. It wasn’t glamorous, and I was exhausted most days, but for the first time, I wasn’t bouncing from one shiny idea to another. I was digging in.
I didn’t tell anyone in my family what I was doing. Not yet. I wanted to wait until it felt real—solid enough to stand on its own.
Then one day, out of nowhere, Liv sent me a screenshot.
“Local nonprofit giving grants to small business starters with community focus. That’s literally your truck. APPLY.”
So I did. I stayed up three nights in a row putting together the proposal. I used every ounce of honesty and heart I had. I told them about the name, the vision, how it wasn’t just about food—it was about stories. About people who feel like they’re “still figuring it out.” The way I had for so long.
Two weeks later, I got the call. I’d been approved for a startup grant.
I sat down on the floor of my apartment and cried. Big, messy tears that tasted like relief.
I called Liv first. Then Mom.
When I told my parents, my dad was quiet. He cleared his throat and said, “Well… maybe you did figure it out after all.”
I didn’t need an apology. That was enough.
Six months later, the “Second Helping” truck opened in a borrowed parking lot beside a community center. I served mac and cheese with a twist, roasted veggie bowls, warm cookies, and stories printed on little cards—stories of people who’d taken the long way to find their purpose.
On opening day, my brother came. He stood in line quietly, hands in his pockets. When he got to the window, he ordered and said, “I was out of line that night. You didn’t deserve that. I was trying to be funny, but… it wasn’t.”
I looked at him, nodded slowly, and handed him his bowl. “Second helping,” I said.
He smiled. “Glad you didn’t give up.”
Neither was I.
The truck became more than just a food stop. People came back not just for the meals, but for the hope. For the reminder that life isn’t a straight line. That “figuring it out” isn’t a flaw—it’s part of the journey.
One day, a woman came up, tears in her eyes. She said, “Your story on the card… about quitting three things before starting this? That’s me. I needed this.”
She handed me a bracelet. Handmade. With a tiny charm shaped like a spoon.
“For second helpings,” she said.
I still wear it.
Looking back, I’m grateful for that awful birthday night. It cracked something open. Not because my family hurt me, but because it showed me what I needed to prove—to myself, not to them.
It’s easy to laugh at someone when their path looks messy. But it’s harder to build something from scratch, to keep believing when no one else does.
If you’re reading this and feel like you’re the one still figuring it out, hear this:
You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
Take your time. Try the things. Make the mistakes. And when you’re ready, serve your own second helping to the world. It might just change everything.
If this story moved you, share it. Someone out there needs to know it’s okay to take the long way home. And hey—maybe they’ll find their “thing” too. 💛